Pages

Sunday, March 30, 2014

It's the Rule, OK?

Last week a story went viral, which is nothing new.  The outrage was typical.  A school SUSPENDED a young girl who shaved her head to show support for a friend with cancer.  Kamryn Renfro's suspension was eventually overturned, but not after my Facebook feed exploded with outrage about the incident.  How DARE that SCHOOL kick out such an innocent, lovely young girl whose intent was only to show care and concern for a sick friend!

Even The Today Show got into the mix.  A Google Search will provide a wealth of links about the story.

As a classroom teacher, though, I feel the need to come to the school's defense.  It's not that I don't support Kamryn's motives.  I do.  Her friend, Delaney Clements, even said that it really helped her to cope with the treatments and disease, knowing her good friend was willing to take a step such as that.  I can imagine that for Kamryn it is a way to deal with the very scary reality of her friend's illness. 

But...the school had a clear policy about hairstyles.  It WAS against the rules for Kamryn to shave her head.  I get the impression that Kamryn and her parents took the step of shaving her head and then sent her to school on Monday morning.  This immediately put the school into the position of being the bad guy.  They HAD to enforce the rule when confronted with a student breaking the rule. 

Schools do not perfectly create or enforce rules.  (Zero tolerance policies come to mind.) Consistency is very important when it comes to rules and policies.

In my classroom and with the students at my school, I do my best to be as consistent as possible.  This means that if I notice anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who is in violation of a rule, I will enforce it.  Even if it is 3:00 PM, and that student has been in violation of dress code all day and no one else has done anything about it. 

I do not notice every dress code violator, and if they never cross my path I cannot notice it.  But I believe it is my obligation to uphold and enforce the rules as consistently as possible.  Whether it's the principal's kid or the detention-every-second kid, a rule is a rule is a rule.

Kamryn's family could have contacted the school when they made the decision and asked for an exception.  Based on what I've read, the school does make allowances for special circumstances.  I can't imagine that an administrator would have said "No" to such a request.  I could even foresee that some kind of fundraiser or event could have been set up for the whole school. 

Please don't get me wrong.  I love the gesture Kamryn made, and commend her for it.  It's a small tribute to the love she has for her friend Delaney.  I just think that the hullabaloo could have been avoided if she and her family had gone to the school ahead of time. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

So When Does it Become Gossip?

Recent events have led me into some musings. 

Well, I muse a lot.  Sometimes those musings solidify into blog posts.  This is going to be one of them.

On Monday I received some terrible news, via one of my former students who is my friend on Facebook.  The news was about the tragic death of one of her classmates, another former student.  She asked me to let my mother know, because my mother was also her teacher.  Of course there are still some of my colleagues who knew this young lady, so I asked one of the girls if she thought I should let some of them know (privately, of course). 

Not long after she messaged me, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and two other former students and her classmates also posted the news, albeit without naming names.  Then I received two private messages about the tragic loss from two other girls in her class.  My mother posted in her status about the loss, again without naming names.  Some others messaged me privately asking for names, and since it was a private message I responded.  I also sent an email to the colleagues of mine who knew this young girl.

There were some circumstances surrounding her death, revealed to me by her close friends, that I shared with my mother and my colleagues.  I did share these details with some of those who privately messaged me, but not to others.

On Tuesday, the name of the former student went public on Facebook among the various circles of friends.  I have not yet seen any public postings about the circumstances, and I personally do not intend to share that detail in public.

Which leads me to my musings.  The beauty of social media such as Facebook is that it allows people to connect with each other quickly and efficiently.  We can offer support, criticism, and news to a wide circle of individuals. 

Hence my question in the title...when does this sharing turn the corner and become gossip?  Is gossip in the intent of the reporter?  Does news become gossip if the recipient takes it as such?  Has social media made it easier to gossip or is it just another avenue for a vice we all share?

That's what's worrying me, in this situation in particular.  And I don't know the answers to any of my questions.  It is certainly NOT my intent to share this news as gossip, but I worry that I am feeding the desire for gossip in some of the recipients.

As often happens, ANOTHER former student posted a link to an article about social media that had some relevance to my musings.   Again, I'm still not sure of where I stand on whether or not I'm gossiping, but this article was quite interesting.

5 Questions to Ask Before Posting to Social Media

Monday, January 13, 2014

Sunday Night is Clean Sheet Night

Ah, Sundays.  One of the best and worst days of my weekend.  Why is it the worst, you may ask?  Because it's the last day of the weekend.  But the reasons it's the best day of the weekend far outweigh the reason it's the worst.

Sundays mean several things for me.  I start the day off with worship and Bible study.  Or Bible study then worship.  Or just worship.  It all depends on if the choir sings.  If I have to sing for choir, I go to the 8:00 service and then stay for Bible study, then sing at the beginning of the 10:45 service.  Sometimes I sleep in and skip Bible study. 

After church I like to have something special to eat.  Usually I make myself breakfast food of some kind, or my mom and I will go out to eat. 

Then....naptime.  If I can swing it, I'll take a nice little nap.  Sunday afternoons are perfect for naps, especially gloomy and cold winter afternoons. 

But the best part of Sunday is clean sheet night.  One of my former students, who is a Facebook friend gave me the inspiration for clean sheet night.  She would post "Clean Sheet Night!" or a variation thereof, every Sunday night.  I asked her about it, and her idea made sense.  She likes to start the week out with fresh, clean sheets.  Her week goes well when she has clean sheet night.  She has also mentioned that when she's had a bad day, she'll do clean sheet night that night for a fresh start.

This sounded like a good plan, so I initiated this habit for myself.  On the occasions that I talked myself out of clean sheet night, I've regretted it.  So for the last several months, no matter how late it is, no matter how tired I feel, I refuse to skip clean sheet night.  Maybe it's psychological, but my week does seem to go better when I make sure to have clean sheet night.

Sometimes I cut it pretty close with clean sheet night.  I have several sets of sheets and usually at least 2 sets are clean and ready to go.  There have been times when I have pulled out the sheets from the dryer at 10:00 at night and put them directly on the bed.  But those clean sheet nights are the best, because what could feel better but to crawl into bed with sheets freshly warm from the dryer?

Once I started my own clean sheet nights, I have tried to remember to post about it on my Facebook page.  And you know what?  Many of my friends have adopted Sunday night as Clean Sheet Night...so the joy is spreading!

So, my friends, try it yourself.  I promise you that Clean Sheet Night will not disappoint.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Thanksgiving Ramblings

Many of my friends on Facebook have been posting daily about what they are thankful for throughout the month of November.  I have enjoyed reading their postings and last year I participated myself.  This year I decided to abstain from posting, but not because I am not thankful for what I have in my life.  I am very blessed with a wonderful teaching ministry, family, friends, and of course my faith.

I shall attempt to explain why I chose to avoid posting my blessings and thankfulness this year.  As a teacher, I have to be dramatic and the center of attention on a daily basis.  It is essential in order to have a well-run classroom in many ways.  I wouldn't necessarily call myself a drama queen, but there is a little part of me that has the need to be the center of attention.

Because I know this about myself, I decided not to post my thankfulness this year.  I was concerned that for me, some of this would become a shameless bid for attention, and not a true exercise of being thankful.  So I chose to keep my thankfulness private.  For this same reason, I rarely follow the tradition of giving up something for Lent.  I don't want something like that to become about my own effort or an opportunity to brag about how good I am.

Reading everyone's posts of thankfulness has given me a chance to think about what I'm thankful for.  I have felt so happy for my friends and family who are willing to share their blessings with their circle of Facebook friends. 

Thank you, my friends, for sharing your joys and blessings with all of us.  It has been inspiring and entertaining.

Friday, August 16, 2013

The First Days of School

The beginning of school is always an adventure.  You have new class schedules, new students, and everything is, well, new.  Even though a teacher may be seeing some of the same students, each school year is unique.

The first few days of school are always a challenge in a variety of ways.  Nothing is settled or set in stone.  You have class roster and schedule changes, you need to know when your lunch time is, you might be waiting for the books you ordered ages ago to arrive.  Students come into your classroom at the wrong time.  You think you have the seating chart *just right* and then someone else gets added to the roster, or someone drops one section and moves to the next.  Even three or four weeks into the school year this kind of thing could happen.

I don't know if I'd say it's a tradition, but the first week or two of school is fun because recent graduates will come back during the lunch hour to visit.  Often they are bringing lunch to friends or siblings who are still enrolled.  Many of them just come back to visit.  Here, we start classes about 2-3 weeks before most local universities begin, so these graduates have the spare time to come and visit.  Most of the time it's really nice to see the graduates return, and sometimes it's kind of awkward.  I think it's awkward because these kids were a part of the fabric of the school for four years, and now they're not.  Sometimes I even feel uncomfortable around former students who I had a good relationship with.  I guess it's mostly because when they are my students, the relationship makes more sense, but once they are older, I don't have a context to place them into. 

What's interesting about these visits is that sometimes the students who return and those who don't return surprise me.  Often the most involved, school-spirited, popular kids don't come back after they've graduated.  Sometimes it's even those who have siblings or other relatives still attending.  The opposite is also true.  I've had really pleasant visits with some of those challenging students who've returned to visit, and I've been gratified to see that they (finally) appreciate their experience at our school.

A couple days ago I received a lovely email from a recent graduate.  I had her twice during the school day last year, in my study hall and in English class.    During my study hall, she would often ask to use some of the lotion I had at my desk.  I keep "regular" lotion and a couple of varieties of Bath and Body Works scented lotion for my use, and I don't mind lending it to students.  I don't know if I'm really allowed to do it, but I do anyway.  She always used this one variety, and I decided to give her the lotion as a graduation gift.  Unfortunately the scent was discontinued, so I purchased an empty container and put the remainder into it.  I didn't think about this until after her graduation party, so I sent it to her this summer.  In her thank you email, she told me that coming to my class made her feel less anxious about being at school, and that there was something about me that helped with that.  I didn't realize she felt this way, and I was just interacting with her as I would with anyone.  I didn't do anything special or go out of my way to treat her special.  That made my day.

All in all, it's been a good start to the year.  Not completely smooth sailing. I can tell my last period class is going to be a challenge.  I have a pack of highly energetic freshmen and sophomores.  They're all good kids, but they can be really charged up.  Granted, I'm writing this at the end of a Friday with the first home football game.  I think there are about 6 of the 20 in that class who are football players.  That could explain their lack of focus today.  We shall see.  I may be spending more energy on these kiddos than the other 5 classes combined!

Monday, July 29, 2013

No Pinterest Guilt Here

Last summer, I discovered Pinterest.  I love this online pinboard, and I'm not going to feel any shame about it.  I have explored crafts, DIY projects, cooking, found funny sayings, classroom ideas, and more.  I have thousands of pins, quite a few boards, and I visit Pinterest several times a day.

Pinterest is a pleasure of mine.  I refuse to feel guilty about enjoying it.  I have heard that there are women out there whose Pinterest experiences cause them to feel inadequate as mothers, wives, and friends.  They see the pins and blogs of other women who seem to do all kinds of complicated projects for their children's birthday parties, or who are super organized, or who make all kinds of DIY cleaning products.  I refuse to feel that way.  (I suspect that some of these super-organized and crafty women blogging and posting about their accomplishments are liars!)

What's my point, you may ask?  Pinterest actually inspires me.  My mother is one of the craftiest people I know.  If there is a DIY or craft activity in existence, she has done it.  When I was in high school, tole painting (you know, geese and chickens on wood) was the rage.  My mom tried it and created quite a few pieces for our home.  They were really good, but when I tried to do some of this painting, it just came out looking like a cartoon.  She's done counted cross stitch (again I learned along with her, but my pieces paled in comparison to hers), latch hook, and more.  She can crochet with her eyes closed, and her sewing skills are amazing.  She made my sister's wedding dress and all the bridesmaids dresses, and they all looked better than the magazine pictures that my sister showed her for the design.  My nephew (and now my new niece) will always have the most amazing Halloween costumes because of her.  She makes cards and does scrapbooking.

As I have mentioned, I've taken up some of the crafts she tried when she started them.  I have done tole painting, I've done counted cross stitch, and she has taught me how to sew.  I tried to learn how to crochet, but I don't have the patience or the manual dexterity to do so.  I like to scrapbook, but I have scrapbooks from several years ago that are incomplete.  I have recently taken up cardmaking as well.  The best part about learning these crafting skills is that my mom buys all of the equipment and I can use it.  When she decides to do a crafty activity, she goes all out.  Joann and Michael's coupons are something she hoards and uses to her advantage in this.

But I'm getting off subject, which is another trait I share with my mom.  I'm just talking about her because it illustrates the fact that I have a standard against which I will never measure up (in my mind).  My mom is amazing at these crafting skills, and I am not.

Pinterest has revived my interest in a lot of things.  Through my visits to Pinterest, I have revived my interest in sewing.  This summer I have made a couple of bags for myself, made some garden decorations for my garden and for my mom's garden.  I enjoy reading the tutorials because most of the writers explain what they are doing in a way that makes sense, and many of the tutorials are accompanied by pictures.

My favorite exploration on Pinterest has been the recipes.  I have tried several recipes I've found with much success.  I venture to say that my cooking skills are equal to my mom's, and I get great satisfaction from cooking something that I really like.  I've made recipes from Pinterest for family gatherings and usually they get good reviews.

Pinterest encourages me to look at things in different ways.  I have tried new things (foods and DIY projects) that I may not have tried before.  I have started looking around my home and workplace and looked for ways to reuse (the new word I believe is "upcycle") materials.  I've found inspiration for working in my garden and yard, doing crafts, and more.  I have learned a whole lot...about myself and about a variety of other things.

I also find a lot of humor in Pinterest.  I'm not just talking about the funny sayings or pictures some people pin.  Some of the recipe ideas or other DIY ideas are simply ridiculous in my mind.  There are dessert recipes out there for things with so many combinations that I just have to laugh.  Who really wants to eat S'mores Almond Joy  raspberry cheesecake crescent roll pie with salted caramel sauce?  Just how many "pumpkin spice" recipes can you make?  Is it really more convenient to make reusable "paper towels"?   Would I really want to make a raised flower bed using cinder blocks?  It would be cool to make ghostly figures out of chicken wire and glow in the dark paint for Halloween, but really?

I'll admit it in writing.  I explore Pinterest when I want to avoid school work, cleaning, and yard work.  It's one of those "time-suckers" that I will intentionally use so that I can procrastinate even more.  As I wrote earlier, I feel no guilt or shame about this either.  Exploring on Pinterest is a way for me to get my mind off of some of the stressful parts of my life. I will never try every single project or recipe that I pin.  I know this.  But that doesn't mean that I can't pin it, "just in case".  So there.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Paula Deen and Words

Today I posted a status on my Facebook page that ran thusly:    
      <---Is very frustrated when I see nifty pics or sayings that share my sentiments, but contain the f-bomb. Really? I remember my mom saying that what comes out of your mouth reflects what's on your inside.

Several people made comments on the status, ranging from what makes a "bad word" a bad word, and eventually the discussion turned to racially charged language, which led me to share some thoughts on the recent Paula Deen controversy.  (I don't know if you'll be able to see my status unless you are my Facebook Friend, but HERE is a link in case you can see it.)  If you can't see it you could send me a friend request, but I'm not guaranteeing I'll accept.
 
Prior to this status adventure, I had been pondering the whole Paula Deen situation.  It relates on some level to my Outrage Overload posting earlier.  I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the issue.

As you may know, I teach English.  This means that I teach literature.  I love teaching literature because I love language, and I love how literature can give us a way to look at the world around us and develop our moral standards based on the experiences of the characters we encounter.  I love teaching texts with challenging issues.  Some of my favorite works to teach include Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird and John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men.  In the past I have taught such works as I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.  One thing you may notice about these four works is that they all have race in common.  Each of these texts contains racial language that in today's culture is offensive.  In fact, these four works are in the top 25 of the most frequently challenged books list, as compiled by the American Library Association.  (You can see the full list HERE.)  The primary reason for each of these books is because of the racial language used.

Whenever I teach a text that contains potentially offensive material, I take some time to address that not only with my students but also with parents.  I will explain that I do not choose such material lightly, and that I plan to handle the material as respectfully and appropriately as possible.  I explain that in works such as these, it is important to understand the historical and cultural context in which such language is used.  The use of racial language in these works is necessary in the sense that it was a part of the culture in which the novel or memoir is set.  I use the example the presence of violence and dying in a novel about the Vietnam war; it would be impossible to write a realistic novel about something like that without death and violence.  I also emphasize that in today's culture we have an understanding that racial language is not appropriate and isn't something we should use outside of the context of discussing the novel.  If students or I must read something aloud or quote something in writing, I encourage them to handle the offensive language in a variety of ways: they can skip the word, say the first initial, or whatever else is comfortable for them.

This is all a lengthy prelude to my thoughts on the Paula Deen controversy.  Sorry, but sometimes I have to explain myself too thoroughly in order to be confident that I'm conveying myself correctly.

I am not surprised that Paula Deen admits to using racial language now or in her past.  I am not surprised that she wouldn't be fazed by the use of racial or ethnic jokes.  I am not surprised that she would think that a plantation-themed restaurant that had only African-American servers is charming.  Do I support or condone these behaviors?  Certainly not.  But I'm not surprised.

Much of what I've read about this shares some common themes.  Predominant among them is the idea that Paula Deen is a product of the culture in which she was raised.  She's white.  She's from the South.  She grew up in the South in a time when such thinking was common.  She probably heard racial language used by the people around her.  

However, Paula Deen lives in today's culture.  She's a public figure.  The fact that she may have used and allowed racial language and jokes in her presence was not the best choice to make.  Even if she was raised in a different culture, that does not excuse her turning a blind eye to such behavior.

I was raised in a different culture.  Using such language was considered beyond inappropriate..in fact racially-charged terms were (and are) considered just as bad as "swear" words.  I cannot imagine using such words out loud other than in the context of studying literature or quoting what someone else had said.   

One of the more overlooked aspects of this controversy seems to be that Deen thought it would be "impressive" to have all African-American servers at her brother's wedding.  She wanted to give hi m a "real Southern-style" wedding (See this article.) Evidently Deen had been to a restaurant where all the servers were African-American.  She thought it reflected a particular era, pre-Civil War to be exact.  Again, I'm not surprised.  

We have romanticized the Antebellum Era here in America.  The Southern plantation represents a genteel, beautiful time of hoopskirts, mint juleps, and southern drawls.  Let me rephrase this...White Americans have done this.  

We seem to overlook that the plantation culture was run on the backs of slaves.  Gone with the Wind, North and South, and hundreds of other novels, plays, and films have created this image of plantation culture that idealizes even the lives of slaves.  I myself went through a phase in high school where I was enamored of the southern belle and the plantations.  Although I can't recall specific references, I remember that there were some who believed that slavery was actually good for African Americans.

Yet I cannot believe that someone of such a high profile (or anyone, for that matter) would even consider such a theme for a wedding or a restaurant.  In this day and age, to glorify a culture that relied on the abuse of a group of people is beyond the pale.

As with any issue, there are those who are running Deen over the coals and those who support her unequivocally.  Some are saying she can never be forgiven, others are saying that she hasn't done anything worse than anyone else.  She has begun to express remorse, and after ducking out of a scheduled interview on The Today Show, she has apparently rescheduled to appear on Wednesday, June 26.  

Is she truly sorry for her actions or is she sorry that she got called out?  I don't know.  Will she survive the controversy?  Probably.  Americans are pretty forgiving.  Why?  Most of us realize that "there, but for the grace of God, go I."  All of us are quite capable of making similar, if not worse mistakes.