The Fault in Our Stars

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars"

When you teach English Language Arts to high school students, you become accustomed to the fact that your audience is not always as enthusiastic about books and language as you are.  Therefore, when even non-readers are enthused about a book, you take notice.  Such was the case for me with the much-maligned and praised Twilight series, The Hunger Games and Divergent series, and this recent novel, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.  I make it a point to read these books, because if my students are interested in something, I want to know why.

My first summer adventure in reading did not disappoint.  The above quotation from the novel sums up a reader's dilemma.  A true reader will encounter books that move them to that point of "evangelical zeal", but what to do with that zeal?  A reader who encounters such a book runs the risk of recommending the book to someone who does not eventually share that enthusiasm, which then disappoints the reader.

The Fault in our Stars is such a book for me.  It has been a long time since I have found a book that I could easily have stayed up all night to finish. 

A teenage romance whose principal characters are cancer patients.  A novel about cancer patients that presents the feelings of cancer patients in a realistic manner.  A novel about teenagers that captures their insecurities, mannerisms, and strengths.

Hazel often comments about the "typical" cancer kid story: the child battles bravely, never complaining in spite of the suffering the treatments cause, and so on.  But neither Hazel, Augustus, nor Isaac (all members of the Cancer Kid Support Group) can always be described this way.  Hazel does not seem to want to be viewed this way.  She says to her parents, “I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?” 

Augustus is similarly realistic about his diagnosis: '“Some wars," he said dismissively. "What am I at war with? My cancer. And what is my cancer? My cancer is me. The tumors are made of me. They're made of me as surely as my brain and my heart is made of me. It is a civil war, Hazel Grace, with a predetermined winner."'  The honesty with which Hazel and Augustus's romance is portrayed makes the overall story that much more poignant.  Having watched someone die of cancer, I could appreciate more what he went through.

It is tragic when someone suffers from a terminal disease, and the tragedy is magnified when that someone is young.  It is obvious that young people like Hazel and Augustus can't experience life in the same way that those without terminal illness can.  The most striking element of this novel was that Augustus, Hazel, and Isaac were "regular" teenagers, with one minor difference: they had cancer.  Hazel and Augustus experience a "typical" high school romance with the added complication of cancer. Isaac experiences a horrible breakup in light of a second surgery for his recurrence of cancer.  He's broken by his girlfriend leaving him AND by the recurrence of his cancer (which has made him completely blind).

On the back of my copy of the novel, the novel is described as "insightful, bold, irreverent, and raw".  Whether you have lived with childhood (or any kind) cancer or not, you will gain an understanding of the disease and how it affects everyone involved in the "fight."

Finally, a significant insight I gained from this novel, in the words of Hazel:

"According to the conventions of the genre, Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor till the end, did not for a moment waiver in his courage, and his spirit soared like an indomitable eagle until the world itself could not contain his joyous soul."

But this is the truth, a pitiful boy who desperately wanted not to be pitiful, screaming and crying, poisoned by an infected G-tube that kept him alive, but not alive enough."

It's the Rule, OK?

Last week a story went viral, which is nothing new.  The outrage was typical.  A school SUSPENDED a young girl who shaved her head to show support for a friend with cancer.  Kamryn Renfro's suspension was eventually overturned, but not after my Facebook feed exploded with outrage about the incident.  How DARE that SCHOOL kick out such an innocent, lovely young girl whose intent was only to show care and concern for a sick friend!

Even The Today Show got into the mix.  A Google Search will provide a wealth of links about the story.

As a classroom teacher, though, I feel the need to come to the school's defense.  It's not that I don't support Kamryn's motives.  I do.  Her friend, Delaney Clements, even said that it really helped her to cope with the treatments and disease, knowing her good friend was willing to take a step such as that.  I can imagine that for Kamryn it is a way to deal with the very scary reality of her friend's illness. 

But...the school had a clear policy about hairstyles.  It WAS against the rules for Kamryn to shave her head.  I get the impression that Kamryn and her parents took the step of shaving her head and then sent her to school on Monday morning.  This immediately put the school into the position of being the bad guy.  They HAD to enforce the rule when confronted with a student breaking the rule. 

Schools do not perfectly create or enforce rules.  (Zero tolerance policies come to mind.) Consistency is very important when it comes to rules and policies.

In my classroom and with the students at my school, I do my best to be as consistent as possible.  This means that if I notice anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who is in violation of a rule, I will enforce it.  Even if it is 3:00 PM, and that student has been in violation of dress code all day and no one else has done anything about it. 

I do not notice every dress code violator, and if they never cross my path I cannot notice it.  But I believe it is my obligation to uphold and enforce the rules as consistently as possible.  Whether it's the principal's kid or the detention-every-second kid, a rule is a rule is a rule.

Kamryn's family could have contacted the school when they made the decision and asked for an exception.  Based on what I've read, the school does make allowances for special circumstances.  I can't imagine that an administrator would have said "No" to such a request.  I could even foresee that some kind of fundraiser or event could have been set up for the whole school. 

Please don't get me wrong.  I love the gesture Kamryn made, and commend her for it.  It's a small tribute to the love she has for her friend Delaney.  I just think that the hullabaloo could have been avoided if she and her family had gone to the school ahead of time. 

So When Does it Become Gossip?

Recent events have led me into some musings. 

Well, I muse a lot.  Sometimes those musings solidify into blog posts.  This is going to be one of them.

On Monday I received some terrible news, via one of my former students who is my friend on Facebook.  The news was about the tragic death of one of her classmates, another former student.  She asked me to let my mother know, because my mother was also her teacher.  Of course there are still some of my colleagues who knew this young lady, so I asked one of the girls if she thought I should let some of them know (privately, of course). 

Not long after she messaged me, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and two other former students and her classmates also posted the news, albeit without naming names.  Then I received two private messages about the tragic loss from two other girls in her class.  My mother posted in her status about the loss, again without naming names.  Some others messaged me privately asking for names, and since it was a private message I responded.  I also sent an email to the colleagues of mine who knew this young girl.

There were some circumstances surrounding her death, revealed to me by her close friends, that I shared with my mother and my colleagues.  I did share these details with some of those who privately messaged me, but not to others.

On Tuesday, the name of the former student went public on Facebook among the various circles of friends.  I have not yet seen any public postings about the circumstances, and I personally do not intend to share that detail in public.

Which leads me to my musings.  The beauty of social media such as Facebook is that it allows people to connect with each other quickly and efficiently.  We can offer support, criticism, and news to a wide circle of individuals. 

Hence my question in the title...when does this sharing turn the corner and become gossip?  Is gossip in the intent of the reporter?  Does news become gossip if the recipient takes it as such?  Has social media made it easier to gossip or is it just another avenue for a vice we all share?

That's what's worrying me, in this situation in particular.  And I don't know the answers to any of my questions.  It is certainly NOT my intent to share this news as gossip, but I worry that I am feeding the desire for gossip in some of the recipients.

As often happens, ANOTHER former student posted a link to an article about social media that had some relevance to my musings.   Again, I'm still not sure of where I stand on whether or not I'm gossiping, but this article was quite interesting.

5 Questions to Ask Before Posting to Social Media

Sunday Night is Clean Sheet Night

Ah, Sundays.  One of the best and worst days of my weekend.  Why is it the worst, you may ask?  Because it's the last day of the weekend.  But the reasons it's the best day of the weekend far outweigh the reason it's the worst.

Sundays mean several things for me.  I start the day off with worship and Bible study.  Or Bible study then worship.  Or just worship.  It all depends on if the choir sings.  If I have to sing for choir, I go to the 8:00 service and then stay for Bible study, then sing at the beginning of the 10:45 service.  Sometimes I sleep in and skip Bible study. 

After church I like to have something special to eat.  Usually I make myself breakfast food of some kind, or my mom and I will go out to eat. 

Then....naptime.  If I can swing it, I'll take a nice little nap.  Sunday afternoons are perfect for naps, especially gloomy and cold winter afternoons. 

But the best part of Sunday is clean sheet night.  One of my former students, who is a Facebook friend gave me the inspiration for clean sheet night.  She would post "Clean Sheet Night!" or a variation thereof, every Sunday night.  I asked her about it, and her idea made sense.  She likes to start the week out with fresh, clean sheets.  Her week goes well when she has clean sheet night.  She has also mentioned that when she's had a bad day, she'll do clean sheet night that night for a fresh start.

This sounded like a good plan, so I initiated this habit for myself.  On the occasions that I talked myself out of clean sheet night, I've regretted it.  So for the last several months, no matter how late it is, no matter how tired I feel, I refuse to skip clean sheet night.  Maybe it's psychological, but my week does seem to go better when I make sure to have clean sheet night.

Sometimes I cut it pretty close with clean sheet night.  I have several sets of sheets and usually at least 2 sets are clean and ready to go.  There have been times when I have pulled out the sheets from the dryer at 10:00 at night and put them directly on the bed.  But those clean sheet nights are the best, because what could feel better but to crawl into bed with sheets freshly warm from the dryer?

Once I started my own clean sheet nights, I have tried to remember to post about it on my Facebook page.  And you know what?  Many of my friends have adopted Sunday night as Clean Sheet Night...so the joy is spreading!

So, my friends, try it yourself.  I promise you that Clean Sheet Night will not disappoint.